Christmas is Tough with PTSD

The holidays are joyous for many, but for me, December has always been a blur. Every year I try to make Christmas special for my son William, and his birthday even more so. But no matter how much love I show him, there’s still a hole in my heart—a reminder of all the trauma I experienced growing up. It doesn’t help that my PTSD is always at its peak around this time of year either; it’s like reliving all those painful memories over and over again. My nightmares are so vivid and exhausting, but thankfully I have William who is here to save me from myself.

I Grew Up Thinking

Growing up without feeling wanted or loved can be an incredibly lonely experience. As a result, I looked for love in all the wrong places which only further perpetuated the cycle of loneliness and pain. Inevitably, this lead to years of poor mental health that eventually developed into full-blown PTSD as an adult. It was like being stuck in a never-ending loop where you are constantly trying to escape and yet nothing you do ever feels like enough.

Williams Purpose

It wasn’t until William was born, he changed my life completely by showing me what unconditional love really looks like. His appreciation of all the little things, has made such an impact on how I view myself. Even though there’s still a hole in my heart. Everything I experienced growing up, it doesn’t hurt as much anymore knowing that he will always be there no matter what.

William makes it easier for me to get through December. Despite the fact that it brings back so many difficult memories from my past. I think that why we make a great team. We help each other through, being there for each other I feel we can heal together.